Bunco Changes

Many of my loyal readers are aware of my monthly bunco (drunko) group. It's my li'l drunken retreat where 12 or 20 of my neighbors get together, eat, drink, laugh, catch up and technically we're supposed to play bunco but that rarely happens.

Along with the changing economy, we felt that after 3 strong years, bunco needed to change as well. As the song goes, 'when it's time to change, you've got to rearrange, who you are and what you want to be'. We're not resistant to change. Oh. No. We're. Not. With new challenges in her life, our former bunco chairperson stepped down and handed her official bunco reigns over to a fellow member. Why she chose a bafoon like her, I'll never know. I think I'd have done a hella tight job managing bunco, but that's just me. So, begrudgingly, I accept my new chairperson with open arms and gritted teeth. I immediately contacted her and told her of my new and brilliant ideas of which kept me awake for the past 3 years. I felt that it would be beneficial to start each bunco with the National Anthem. I also felt that a monthly newsletter would be helpful, to keep us in each other's loop and whatnot. I thought it would be super fly if we dimmed the lights and blared The Eye of the Tiger by Survivor after each round, to amp us up for the next round. All of my ideas were (of course) dismissed and truth be told, I think she was jealous of my mad bunco skillz. I wasn't at all surprised to show up to the first bunco after she took over to find no table snacks (I guess she was too busy planning her lame bunco to bring the one thing she was committed to bring). I'll admit, I got a little smug about it. I subtly pointed out her oversight, but I made my point known.

But that's not all. No, my bitterness runs deeper than a few missing table munchies. In our group, girls come and girls go. You know what they say, 'if you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch'. But, no worries, we always have a waiting list and we'll replace you so fast your head will spin. Everyone who's anyone wishes they were in the Bella Vista Bunco group, but only few can hang. I just realized that the name of my neighborhood sounds a bit like a trailer park. Now, I ask you...would a trailer park host such well thought out bunco parties? No, they'd probably just decide to meet at lot # 14 for a fist full of white bread and a hunk of Velveeta and call it a party. But I digress.

So, another girl decided to not renew her membership this year after her 4th baby....whatever...I showed up to bunco in labor, but hey, that's just me... So, naturally we needed to find a 12th, which is never a problem because I can easily be bribed. An email goes out, bada boom, bada bang, Kristie is our newest member. What? No vote? No discussion? Who does this new chairperson think she is? Yes, Kristie has been a faithful sub since day one and she shows up uninvited every month, but--- really? She's technically not even in Bella Vista, she's in the neighboring subdivision for crying out loud. I'm not sure we want her corrupting our group. Plus, who knows if she's got what it takes. But, for the sake of keeping peace, I let it go.

It's Kristie's first night and the chairperson's first night after her induction (you know, the one where she forgot the table munchies). So, for all intents and purposes, it's a big night for everyone. When our newest member arrived, we all turned off the lights, locked the door and hid from her. It was 19 degrees outside...hee hee. "Gotta pay your dues" we all chanted from inside the house. Finally, after her baby toe turned black, we let her in. The room was dark. We made a circle around her and held hands. Someone lit a candle and we passed it from one girl to another. During this ceremony, we made Kristie take all of her clothes off. We all took turns asking her trivial questions about ourselves and our families (to see if she'd been paying attention all these years). For every wrong answer we'd spray her with the hose from the kitchen sink. I really got her good when I asked her my son's social security number. Finally, we'd had our fun with Kristie and frankly, all the attention being put on her was getting on my nerves. We let her get dressed but then locked her in a closet and insisted this is always what we do to the new girl. She must have let herself out sometime after we'd all gone home because I swear I saw her driving her kids to school today. Oh well, all in good fun. Snaps to a great new year!

In Bunco Love,
Leslie