RaNdOm AtTaCkS

These are just some random (hateful) thoughts that kept me up last night. If only I could use my powers for good instead of evil.....

I hate it when people say they're going to leave and then they continue milling around. It drives me nuts....it's like, "leave already". My husband does this all the time. He'll announce that he's going next door to play cards with the tards and then he'll sit down on the couch. Or pace around the kitchen. Not that I necessarily want him to leave per se, I just want him to stick with the plan. I can't be bothered by his indecisiveness.

I hate when people get overly and unjustifiably excited about something. Like, it's just family reunion. Settle down. And then I look like the crazy person for not being excited. Or like when you extend the slightest bit of friendliness and the other person basically begins to infiltrate your life, inch by inch. Like, they send you an email before you even get home from whatever you were just doing with them. Stalker. In other words, there's a fine line between me just being nice to you and me having any interest in getting to know you. Trust me. You'll know if I want to become your friend.

I absolutely hate it when people ask questions that they already know the answers to, just for the sake of mindless chit chat. "Isn't Kiefer Sutherland in that movie"? You know that he is. Why are you asking? My words are precious, don't make me waste them on answering obvious questions. I absolutely loathe idle banter. It's painful.

I hate when people compliment themselves. It's so gauche. It immediately makes me think they are less attractive, less intelligent, less entertaining, less talented than they really are.

I hate when people hover over me. Oh. My. Gawd. Nothing, I mean, nothing sends me into a tizzy quite like when I'm hovered over.

With regard to the previous attack, if you are eating or drinking while you're hovering over me, you could risk losing an eye. I have this weird thing about hearing people eat & drink. It's like nails on a chalk board to me. The smacking of lips, slurping, saliva sounds, gulping noises....I have hives just thinking about it.

This all boils down to the obvious fact that I am not a people person. Ah well. You can't be brilliant and friendly. Well, you could...but then you'd risk being ugly. God would never make someone brilliant, friendly and pretty. Two out of the three, maybe. But definitely not all three.

Very well.