FACEBOOKING

Facebook is so interesting. It is the epitome of fantasy becoming reality. Simply put, it's manipulated life. You create, manage and only reveal what you want revealed. Brilliant. No wonder it's so addicting. It can make the loneliest people feel popular, the ugliest people feel pretty, the saddest people seem happy, the most peculiar people seem normal, etc.

I recently posted a picture of my boys and me. An old friend wrote to me that "I looked happy". I wondered how he came to that conclusion. Why? Because I'm smiling in a picture with my kids? Wow. What a super sleuth he was! A real Sherlock Holmes. Then I got to thinking (you know.....) how funny would it be if I only posted sad pictures of myself.

Picture #1. me, crying

Picture #2 Jason & me sitting at the kitchen table doing bills, clutching our unpaid bills in despair

Picture #3. me, laying in bed with the flu

Picture #4. me, standing sadly in front of a full length mirror, in my undies, while Jason looks on, disgusted.

Picture #5. me, at the mailbox, reading another rejection letter

Picture #6. me, starring sadly out the window at my children playing while I sit, crumpled in a wheelchair.

How frigging funny is that? As an experiment, I think I might tackle this challenge. I'm going to attempt to have the most pathetic facebook profile ever. My status will read like this, "Leslie is having to face another hopeless day" or "Leslie is getting ready for bed. With any luck, I'll be spared from having to endure tomorrow". I'll start my own acronyms. Instead of LOL, I'll type SMW (slitting my wrists). I'll have to write on my own wall because clearly, I won't have any friends. I'll post inspirational messages to myself. "Leslie, despite what your mother tells you, you are good enough".

This is why FB is so great. You can reinvent yourself to be whoever you want to be. The bottom line is that we're all so very narcissistic. We think people actually care what we're thinking, what our view are or how we scored on a "which muppet are you" quiz. We'll only post pictures that we feel flatter us. Oh, how I loathe my girlfriends who post terrible pictures of me without my consent...because, I'm vain....I'll admit it.

Or---I'll derail here for a minute. What about the people who update their status' every 1/2 hour? Susie is awake and ready to start her day. (wow. riveting.) Susie is staring at 14 loads of laundry that need to be put away. (here's a thought Susie, tear yourself away from the computer and do your laundry). Susie is excited for a new episode of Lost (Susie, you're a loser). Susie hopes her husband remembers to bring home milk (Or, perhaps, Susie, you could have gotten off your lazy ass and gotten it yourself). Susie is counting the days until her trip to Spain (....really? And I can't wait for Susie to stop referring to herself in 3rd person). Susie is...are you??? (Susie, you are just too darn clever--too. darn. clever.) Susie is making chicken enchiladas for dinner...yummmmm (Susie, I swear, I will chain you to a pipe in the basement...)