what television gets away with

So many times over the past year or so, I've been completely blown away by what is acceptable for tv now. OK, before I continue, I just have to say--I'm NOT AT ALL offended! While I'm usually amused by vulgarity, I am amazed at what's becoming the norm. We're so desensitized to sex, foul language, drug references (all of which I proudly display on this blog). My defense is that my blog readers know what they're getting into when they read this. I ain't "fronting", as the kids would say. I OWN my obscenities, dog! But, when an 80 year old woman is innocently scrolling through her cable channels and she sees a commercial for KY Intensify, which boasts optimum clitoral stimulation, I picture the poor thing dropping dead of a heart attack. KY has also recently put out a commercial for their mini-vibrator. This is an absolute fact. WTF? Does anyone else think that's kinda weird? I felt like I was watching a commercial for cigarettes or rape or something.



What does this say about 2009? In the 50's they wouldn't even allow Lucy & Ricky to sleep in the same bed. I regularly hear "douche bag" said on tv. That's a new one. Love it. Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle said, "I've got a pu$$y". This is primetime, people! This isn't Cinemax, mind you. My jaw dropped when I heard that!!! So what can't we say on tv, these days? F--K and C-NT, apparently. Because, you know, that crosses the line. But, Pu$$y and Douche Bag, however, are sweeping the nation.

I hate the commercials that allow the masses into a woman's personal life. I still believe that a woman's personal matters should be kept under wraps. (As you'll plainly read about in any of my blogs pertaining to child birth and everything else that embarrasses me from the waist down). Ok, so what's with that commercial from Schtick? Don't quote me, but I believe it's Schtick Intuition with a bikini trimmer on one end. We get it, ok? It's for trimming up your bush. We don't need the visuals that accompany it. A woman walks confidently out of a boutique and as she passes, the topiary plant magically changes it's formation to the shape of the woman's (supposed) bush. Hot chick walks by, the tree instantly contorts to a triangle, rectangle, rhombus, what have you. I don't get it. Ever, ever in your lifetime would you see a commercial about a man's bush? Never! So, why do us girls have to be exploited? And reduced to being compared to that of an evergreen? Arg. (to be said like a pirate)

My girlfriend, who has known me for almost 20 years, knows that I'm a freak about girly, private parts talk. Anyway, she, her husband and I were having drinks one night on her deck and she was saying that they'd seen a commercial the night before that would probably have put me in a coma, had I been present. I inquire. Allegedly, it was a commercial for a feminine (gulp) itching product. Already, I'd begun panting and turning white. If she and I were alone while she was giving me the play by play, I probably would have listened, but because her husband was sitting with us, I had to start breathing in a bag (chagrin). She goes onto report that the commercial asked the question, "does your feminine itching feel like this"? and then evidently it showed a picture of a burning bush. Then it asked, "Do you have odor?" and then showed a picture of a trout in a garbage can. I didn't even let her finish. The coroner was already at her home. There was already a chalk outline of my body on her patio. I can't begin to tell you the horror. You know, I haven't been back, to her home, come to think of it. I'm sure I'll never be able to look her husband in the eye now. I hate for men to think our cha-cha's are scary burning bush that smells like dead fish. Who the hell is selling these ads? And to whom are they selling them? I don't know about you gals, but I'd rather the boys think of us as pretty, little flowers, not angry, smelly horticulture.

Anyway, my point being...well, I don't really have one. But, yo, that shit's f'ed up, dawg.

LB