Grow up!!!!

I'm so immature, sometimes I can barely stand myself. Well, that's not true, I actually adore myself. I do...I crack myself up---but let's just call a spade a spade. I have the maturity level of a 13 year old boy.

So, I'm here with my 3 year old, watching quality television, that being Tom & Jerry. It's the one where Jerry has his french cousin visiting him. Together, they are on a quest to find Tom. The french mouse is whispering in his precious, little, french accent, "pooo-seee.... pooo-seee....pooo-see cat--where have you been". I'm dying. At 35 years old, I'm still howling at the pussy reference on a fricking cartoon. I'm not right.

Not to be confused with last night's ridiculousness. My (almost) 7 year old brings home little books every night from school. Each book is of an appropriate age level and the point is for the child to practice reading with an adult every night---any old adult will do. Last night's book title was, "The Hole in Harry's Pocket". The cover portrayed a small, black boy with his hands shoved way down in his pocket and Harry was giving us his best "O" face. Obviously, I was dying. My son sees the cover and God bless 'em, he says, "look, it's like Harry's saying, 'ohhhh, look, I found my wiener way down in my pants'". I love that child. In his defense, he was right. That's exactly what the caption should have read. I think the people who write these so-called reading books are sick.

Tina's special pearl
Tommy's hides his weasel
Mr. Johnson's big Johnson
Mr. Johnson likes to hang out at the park, sharing his big bag of candy
Kitt Kittredge gets a monthly visitor

For the love of God. I'm not the sick one, I didn't write the damn books! Throw a lemon in my general direction, I'll most likely suck on a wedge, then do a lemon drop shot. Dangle a dirty innuendo in my face, I'll dangle a filthy response back in yours.

Ta ta for now.