the new pediatrician

I found a new pediatrician after our old one chastized me for calling her after hours number for something as mundane as a cough....Anyhoot~

It took blood, sweat and tears for me to get my boys into this highly recommended, highly regarded practice. By the skin of my teeth, I finally got accepted as a new patient, so for no good reason, I felt I had to have the boys as clean and shiny as a new penny for their appointments (not entirely easy to do during the filthy Summer months).

I was in such a hurry to get there (first impressions, you know) when I finally looked down at my children in the waiting room, I was amazed to see that Ben had purple popsicle all over his grubby hands and Gabe's red popsicle had melted all down his arm (albeit 3 hours earlier) and wound up all over the back of his khaki shorts. He went to bed with his hair wet last night, so it was sticking up every which way and his bare legs were revealing a myriad of cuts, bites, bumps and bruises, also consistent with the Summer months.

Again, I'm trying to frantically clean up the boys before our new Dr. comes in. He shows up and he's all polite and so forth. After he goes over the logistics (height/weight, etc) he begins to ask my 6 yr old about bicycle safety. For the record, my Benny is a helmet geek. He even wears his helmet while riding his bike through our plush, grassy yard. So, doc asks if he wears a helmet and Ben answers, "well, only on the really, really busy streets".
Doc: Heh hem....ummm you should really wear it all the time, Ok Buddy?
Doc: What kind of milk do you buy?
Me: Skim
Doc: Do they drink much of it?
Me: Oh yeah, all the time, they are huge milk drinkers. (For the record, I wasn't even lying...they ARE milk drinkers)!
Ben: We love pop, LOVE IT! (Ok, my boys only drink pop when they're with their Grandmother and even then it's rare). So, he continues to go on about Stranger Danger, Sunscreen, Car Seats, etc. I assure him that our motto is "safety first". On cue, Gabe tells him that he loves fireworks, they're soooooo loud and soooooo pretty and very hot! What could I do? I just pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head. So, then Doc wants to check the bottoms of their feet. WHY??? WHY??? What do you think, that I made them walk on hot coals before we came? Why, in the middle of June, when the boys did NOT have a bath last night and they're both wearing black flip flops would a doctor choose then to check the bottoms of their feet? I contemplated faking my own death at that point, I was so embarrassed.

Me: Oh, uh, yeah, those darn flip flops make their feet appear sooooo dirty, but they aren't, I swear....I SWEAR...WHAT?????

Doc: uh huh. Ok see you in about a year.

Now, I'm wondering if I should go back to the old doctor.