Domestic in Disguise

My 4 year old's preschool teacher sent home a folder with an empty recipe card inside. The instructions were to write out our favorite family cookie recipe.


Um, hi. Have we met? Cookie recipe? Oh, that's simple enough. You simply buy bake & break cookies. You break them off, put them onto cookie sheets and bake them. (Hence the "break & bake" part) Voila. Dessert!

So, because I crack myself up, I wrote these very words on a note and placed that inside the folder. I added, "but for the sake of this 'project', I'll play along. See attached". On the recipe card, I wrote out Candy Spelling's recipe for her 'thumbprint cookies'. Yes, that Candy Spelling. What? We're practically related. Therefore it counts as a 'family recipe'.

Ok. So I'm not part of the Spelling tribe, but I don't have any family recipes of my own. Don't judge. See, in our family, my mother was such a gal-about-the-kitchen that she didn't follow recipes. She just added a little of this and a little of that and every so often she'd flick off the 2 inch ash hanging off the end of her cigarette into the sink. 30 minutes later, glorious blueberry muffins. Me? Not so much.

Shut up. Why do you think they invented cookie dough to purchase? For busy girls, such as myself.

Candy, will you be my mom? I figure, Tori's out of your life, so you've got room for me. Right? Plus, I make wayyyy cuter grandbabies than she does. Think of me as a clean slate. I'll let you take me to your plastic surgeon and let him do to me whatever you see fit. I promise not to touch your dolls or write a book about you. You could make my kids their Halloween costumes, since I'm not so good in the sewing department either, as it turns out. We could plan themed parties together. And, my taste isn't nearly as expensive as your ungrateful daughter's is. I won't have the audacity to complain when you buy me my first BMW. I'll be the best daughter you never had. Holla!

~ Your Daughter
Leslie Spelling
(nice ring to it, don't you think)