Rockie the Ram

So my son brought home Rockie the Ram from his preschool. It's the Rockford Ram mascot stuffed animal. Rockie visits the home of the preschoolers and the moms document Rockie's adventures in...guess what.....a scrap book.

You might be thinking, but Leslie, you've already blogged about this when your older son brought home Koko last year (see: adventures with Koko). No, this is an entirely different story all together. Koko was a freak.

I love how Rockie travels from house to house while the Swine flu is in full swing. You know I lysoled the hell out of Rockie before allowing him to enter my home. So, for the first 24 hours of Rockie's stay with us, he remained in the backseat of my car. Oops, sorry Rockie!

I went out to get him today, just to see if there might be any work on my part, where it pertains to Rockie. That's when I opened the backpack and saw the scrap book. I thumbed through it, oh yes. It's a scrap book, alright. Printed out pictures of happy families, schlepping Rockie all over Hell's half acre. Rocky at the museum. Rocky at the Grand Canyon. Rocky in Bangkok. Rocky in the Red Light District. Each mother (I assume it's the mother) took the time to articulate Rocky's journey, through a photo diary. Jeezus. Who's got time for this? Who, I ask?

Cripes. Oh, and here's the kicker. Guess how long each family gets to keep Rocky? 2 days. That's it. So, you tell me, how in the Sam Hill did you get from Michigan to the Grand Canyon, back again and have time to scrap book about it in 2 freaking days? Only in Rockford. Only in Rockford would you find such overzealous mothers. Oh, you'd have thought these mothers all worked as editor in chief at Vanity Fair the way these pages were laid out. Ridiculous, I tell you.

Allow me to give you a run down of how Rocky's adventures were captured at my house. First, after being severely neglected for 24 hours, Rocky got to go to the grocery store with us. See Rocky picking out bananas. Then, Rocky went to pay our association dues. See Rocky at the Bella Vista offices? Then Rocky was once again forgotten and left in my purse. Guess what I did that night? It was Thursday and as many of you mommys know, Thurs. is usually girls' night out. I had a writer's meeting for the tv show that I write for and afterward, I met some girls for a cocktail. When I reached into my purse to grab my celly, I saw little Rocky staring up at me. So, Rocky sat atop the table and listened to 4 girls chat about life, sex, those damn kids, lazy husbands and stretch marks. Rocky's innocuous smile was turned into a surprised "O" face. We embarrassed him. We didn't mean to, but girl talk is girl talk. Rocky and I paid our bill and went home. I realized that Rocky was due back at preschool the next morning, so I quick printed out pix of Rocky and I getting our drink on (along with the other wondrous trips we'd taken that day) and slapped them into the book. I detailed the events with a bic pen. This, coupled with my last entry (about the cookie recipe) should get us kicked out of preschool, for sure!

You know what? If I had access to a jail, how hilarious would it be if I'd taken Rocky to jail and then journaled that we were visiting my baby daddy? Oh, if only I had more time and resources. I could have taken Rocky to get mug shots. Rocky and I go clubbing. Rocky brings home an escort.... The possibilities are endless.