Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Scrapping

Since embarking on our new endeavor (blogging) my mind is flooded with topics that I must share with you. You may or may not be aware of the underground cult of scrapbooking.

My God, these pushy mega-moms will try to recruit even the most innocent bystanders. Whatever happened to taking pictures and then at your own convenience, placing them into a photo album? Huh? Who decided that each and every occasion in life needed to captured, chronicaled and then cropped? Complete with stamps, stickers, borders, lame captions and photos cut out with fancy zig-zag scissors? Who are these people? Who has time for this? I have 3 photo albums filled with my first born's first 6 years of life. I have a picture somewhere in my basement of my 2nd born at his birth and another of him wearing a birthday crown (could be his own birthday...could be his brother's birthday, who knows) but that about covers the documentation of my children. I can't even imagine having so much time on my hands that I pick and choose the best photos from each seasonal highlight and then strategically placing them onto card stock, only then to dilute that page with silly decorations. "Ok, everyone, turn to page 6. You'll see Meghan picking her first pumpkin and look how I placed the most perfect halloween border onto the page and then wrote 'boo' with a glittery marker, aren't I clever? Get it, 'boo' because it's halloween"? "...and here's Mark and I the day we bought our mountain bikes. That's Clark, the guy who sold us the mountain bikes--remember honey, he was such a good sport and then he held up bunny ears behind our helmets? See how I stamped "Keep on Rolling" next to the picture of us on our bikes"? "OK, this one might need some explanation. The next series features our trip to Florida. Ohhhhh, Meghan is making her first sand castle and the caption reads, 'Meghan makes her first sand castle'..." Really, really...does this really need explanation?

Oh, that's only scratching the surface. Then there's the actual "cropping parties". You haven't lived until you've attended a cropping party. This is where you can't do your sad little hobby alone, in the privacy of your own dining room table. You have to invite others to do it with you. How do you think the conversation goes at these parties? "Madge, where on earth did you get that kitty cat stamp--girl, don't you know cats are sooo 2006. And did you see Carol's scrapbook from her trip to Washington D.C.? Dear God, she spent all that money on the book and embellishments and didn't even bother to mount the photos---it's a shame, that's what it is. She's making the rest of us look bad".

At the risk of sounding too trite, GET A LIFE!

This is only one step away from obnoxious Christmas letters. Don't get me started, I'll dabble in that in the future.

While Ann catches her breath, I'd like to add my 2 cents....Martha Stewart is responsible for all this nonsense and she must be stopped! I for one stopped shopping at K-Mart when Martha Stewart became K-Mart. She turned perfectly good women into neurotic wanna-be's who tried time and again to mimic Martha's projects, which aren't really hers at all (remember all the talk about how she "stole" others ideas and actually didn't complete any of the projects she documented on her own, rather she had her staff do most of the work and she just appears for the great photo and video shots?)! I mean, really, are we women reverting back to obtaining our identities and creating our value by what kind of projects we do and how well we do them? Isn't it bad enough that we allow ourselves to be judged by what day care programs our kids attend, which extra curriculars they're involved in, which workout facility we attend, how much volunteer work we do at our kids' school and worst of all, what our husbands do for a living????? Ladies, Ladies....please! We are not living in the 50's anymore? We are viable human beings capable of much, much more than beautiful floral arrangements and decorative bird houses! We're thinking, feeling, strategic creatures with two very strong legs to stand on and very broad shoulders capable of supporting just about anything this world gives us. I'm not saying having hobbies and helping out at our children's school isn't a good thing or not important. I'm just saying we're more than just that......

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