the preppy criminal

This is a short, but true, little story. Despite my past blog entitled, "Leslieisms or Lies", all of my stories are true.

On my way to the YMCA yesterday morning, I noticed a group of people on the side of the road, picking up trash. They all donned their fancy, mesh orange vests. I could only assume they were sentenced to community service...why else would they be wearing orange vests on the side of the road, while willingly collecting trash? For Heaven's sake.

So I'm watching them while sitting at a stop light and I notice one woman who stood out a bit from the rest. For one thing, she was older, perhaps in her 50's. She was very attractive, her hair was perfectly coiffed, her capris were pressed and the collar on her white tennis shirt was turned up. I think she may have even been wearing earrings. Here's the thing. As God as my witness, the woman tied her orange vest around her shoulders. I literally laughed out loud. Who did she think she was? Of course, being in the booming business of blogging, I immediately thought of a million captions for this poor woman, who was just going about her day.

* I'm much better than everyone here. Look, I have my collar up.

* There! This looks much nicer, don't you think so, officer?

* No one will suspect I'm a hardened criminal. Look at me, I have my collar up for pete's sake!

*If Martha can fashion a cashmere sweater set out of an orange jumpsuit, then By God, I can too!

*Shhhh, I'm creating the illusion that I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart, not because the judge sentenced me to 60 hours of community service for bribing a police officer with oral sex.

*You can take me land but you can't take me freeeeedom!

*You can take the girl out of Greenwich Village but you can't take Greenwich out of the girl.

* Does my orange mesh vest go with this trash poker?

* I might be picking up trash, but damned if I'm going to dress like it!

Every one of these thoughts ran through my head before the light turned green. I had to race home immediately to write it all down. I should totally work for David Letterman. See, it just goes to show you that there's humor everywhere you look. Even at a stop light. :-)