ashes and options

You know, it's really very sad and sick, but I seem to be enjoying my mother so much more since her passing than I did when she was alive. Not to say that I prefer her gone, I am just enjoying her more, that's all. I'd been grieving her loss for so long, but now I think of her like an old friend with whom I'd lost touch. You tend to remember all the good times and forgot why you lost touch in the first place. Exactly like that.

With that said, I think enough time has passed and I've let go of the bitterness that surrounded our relationship and the feelings of abandonment that accompanied her death. I completely embrace her for who and what she was. I only wish I'd done that while she were still alive. You live and you learn. I find her old quirky habits hilarious now, whereas before they drove me to drink. As previously mentioned in blog entitled, "Helen's Homecoming", you'll know that I now have possession of her ashes. So, in theory she is here with me. Watching...always watching.

I came across an ad on the world wide web. This particular company claims to produce a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life. My first thought was, "WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED...I'VE FOUND A USE FOR HER"! The comment may have been cold, but my intents were purely driven by love. I mean, really, what am I supposed to do with this box of pulverized bone? Wouldn't a diamond be more useful and let's face it, prettier?

But then, I thought about it. You know I can get to thinking. The cynic in me came out and, well, how do we know this diamond was magically created by mom's ashes? What, are you going to argue with the jeweler? "No, definitely no...mom's eyes were much greener than this"! And furthermore, what do you say when a jealous friend comments on your fancy, new gem? "Oh, this old thing? Thanks. I was created from grandpa's ashes. No, really, it was. IT WAS! WHAAAT"??? Come on. We all know darn right and well the jeweler takes the cremains, flushes it down the toilet and then sells you a marked up diamond. I just hate when my intelligence is insulted.

And it's often insulted. Like coupons & ads. Jason falls for it every time! "Les, Quiznos is offering $5 subs, OR 2/$10. What a bargain"! I heard a commercial for a pizza deal on T.V. last night. The commercial stated 3 pizzas with 3 toppings for $7 /each. This didn't make any sense to me. I am certainly not a pizza connoisseur, nor do I pay particular attention to "pizza deals", but I was busying myself in the kitchen (wow, that's odd) and I overheard this commercial in the background. Something about it stuck in my craw. Ok, so 3 pizza's for $7/each. How about 4 pizzas? $7/each. 5? $7/each. Here's what I'll do, because I can tell you know your pizza, I'll give you 10 pizzas for $7/each. Well, you'd be stupid to pass up a deal like that! Give me a break! All day with this nonsense. You know they're targeting drunk men when they run deals like that. No woman would ever fall for that. We all know salesmen think us gals are soooo stupid, but when it comes to the green but, bitches be crazy. *Messing with my money is like messing with my emotions, and you know this! My money, fool--*nachos!

*The infamous line from movie "Friday", which Jason and I reference weekly.
*Ebonics form of "not yours"