etiquette lessons required

So, I'm told that my husband has been invited to dinner at his boss' house. I guess my presence is expected as well. Who knew? Not me, as I tend to avoid these types of affairs. You've been reading this blog long enough to know that I'm not exactly house broken yet. Just for kicks, go into my early archives and read, "Stupid Things I've Said". Not to be confused with "Stupid things my husband's said".



Only the upper level management has been invited, which really only amounts to maybe 4 men (and their wives). I have been to 2 other company events----one was a Christmas party and my behavior was hardly noticed because I was lost in a sea of 300 other drunks. The second function was a company picnic and I busied myself with my kids, so I was somewhat able to keep my nose clean that day.



But these new developments have me in a quandary. Me nervous. So many things can go wrong. So many variables. What do I wear? Do I bring a hostess gift? Will it be catered or will I have to roll up my sleeves and help with dishes? Shall I except a drink if offered? That's silly, of course I will. What if I snort? What if it's boring and I yawn? What if they talk about businessy stuff all night? What if I hate what they serve?

All these worries could be dismissed if I were a normal person. But, I'm not. I blurt out indescretions. I don't have a filter between my brain and my mouth. I get nervous during awkward silences and that's usually when things go terribly, terribly wrong. What's worse, is I drink too much when I'm nervous. And why am I so nervous----it's not like I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents. Well, my husband has about as much faith in me as my mother did during my teen years. The pressure, the pressure. I'm scerred.