Insecurities

There are some things in our life that simply illicit feelings of fear, anger or inadequacy. We don't understand why, but I'm willing to bet most of them come from childhood insecurities. Kids are assholes. Not all kids, mind you, but certainly a good number of the students that attended Lakes Elementary School in Hartland, MI from 1978-1984. Don't get me wrong, not all sore spots originate from my peers. Some came straight from my home, but that's a whole different ball of wax.

Let's look at the basics. My name, for example. Leslie Ann. Sounds a lot like Lesbie Ann or lesbian, doesn't it? Yeah, not real sure how my parents didn't foresee that tragedy. Not that I have a problem with homosexuals whatsoever, because I don't....but I will tell you that it took me up until a few years ago to admit that women are pretty because I was so afraid someone would think I was gay. Listen, you can't go to school every day for 6 years hearing, "Leslie Lezzie Lesbian, humps her friends as fast as she can" without it causing some damage. 'humps her friends as fast as she can'. Really? I'm 9 and humping all my friends real fast..., like a jack rabbit? Ok, first of all....not likely. But, I was a kid....I believed it. I figured they all knew something I didn't. Elementary school sucked. Everyone always said I was 'weird'. Whatever...they were all just too stupid to get my sense of humor. I was HI-larious! Of course, it didn't help matters that I wasn't a particularly good looking child.

Moving onto my physical insecurities. I've never claimed to be a beauty. (Of course, that never stops me from pointing out other people's flaws) Although all my friends are gorgeous and I run with a lovely crowd, I've never looked in the mirror and thought to myself, "Self, you are one good looking gal". In fact, I usually hate every picture ever taken of me and obsess over every one of my (many) flaws. Gee, that couldn't possible be because my father used to call us the "Lee Sisters". (Ug-Lee & Home-Lee) Oh. Yes. He. Did. He must have missed that chapter in the parenting books where you're supposed to build up your child's self esteem, not crush it. Who, WHO could look at their daughter and call her ugly? Even if they were? I mean, my GOD, he used to make me stomp my foot whenever people asked me how old I was. (get it? like a horse)
It's a wonder I made it to adulthood. I'm telling you....the baggage we bring from our childhood.... Me thinks it's why Prozac was created. And Xanax. And liquor. And cigarettes. And paint thinner. And computer duster. And cough medicine. And whatever else the kids are doing these days. Snorting Sweetarts? Drinking antifreeze?

At any rate, it's all good. I'm over it. Sure, my insecurities rear their ugly heads from time to time, but all in all, I keep a cool head over it all (thank you Walgreen's pharmacy). I'm also very realistic. I am what I am. No matter how jealous I might get over someone else for what they look like, or what they have---there are probably 20 other people that THEY are envious of. Be happy with who & what you are!!!!

Side note: In keeping with the theme, "Security" you MUST go to youtube and type in "Bon Qui Qui". Go ahead, see for yourself what I enjoy watching in my spare time. My 15 year old niece turned me onto her and Bon Qui Qui has since become my imaginery friend. When put in awkward situations I often wonder what Bon Qui Qui would do. That's why I wear WWBQQD bracelets. (what would bon qui qui do)