more things to ponder and general complaints

Do Asians joke that white people all look alike?

And furthermore I'm fairly certain when we're getting pedicures and the nail techs are all squawking in their native tongue, they aren't talking about us. We're so self centered to assume they are. Like they have nothing better to talk about.

Why is it that when you get into a little (ahem) scuffle with someone on the road, it never fails that they pull into the same parking lot as you?  Like, really?  Out of all the 19 million places to go, the person I flipped off on I-96W is also deciding to go Targeting at MY Target?

The person who talks about their ailments. So annoying. There's this chick at the gym who angles her inuries and illnesses into every conversation. For example, Instructor:  ....and get up into a plank and hold for 60 seconds. Sickie McSickerson: OH, I CAN'T DO THAT. MY DOCTOR SAYS NOT TO PUT ANY WEIGHT ON MY ARMS. Me: who the fuck asked you?

I've skirted around this issue in the past, but now I'm taking a grand stand. I hate the person who uses Facebook as a platform to brag about themselves. SUZY MCGEE.....wants to thank all the people who told me I was pretty last week. SUZY MCGEE.....needs to the hit the gym. SUZY MCGEE... hasn't worked out in like 6 minutes and I might be creeping up the scales at a whopping 112 lbs.      And then all of Suzy's stupid friends have to comment how skinny she is and how if anyone can afford to skip the gym it's Suzy! And 'what I wouldn't give to look like you, Suzy!!!'   Shut up, Suzy.  You're fishing for a compliment, don't even try to lie. I hate that. I think it's their blatent insecurity that bothers me.

I hate the chick at my gym that always smells like onions. Oh my gawd, this lady....it's so disgusting. She is always soaked with sweat. It's always dripping off her hair and her too-tight tank is just drenched. That alone makes me sick, but coupled with the fact that she has the worst body odor I have ever smelled. It's b.o. and onions. Every day. And it lingers, too. I refuse to even stand on the same side of the room as her because the smell wafts over to me and then remains in my sinuses for the next 12 hours. I hate that!

Celebrity wives who talk TOO MUCH about their amaaaaazing marriages and their amaaaaaazing sex lives. See: Lisa Rinna, Heidi Klum, Jada Pinkett Smith. Has anyone else noticed this? These women...everytime they're being interviewed about anything, the conversation always gets redirected toward the sex. Maybe if they continue to brag about it, eventually we'll believe them. Keep it up, keep it up.

And speaking of Heidi Klum, do you ever shut your mouth? My God. Every picture of you has your big mouth gaping open. Shut it, horse teeth. Because, you know....I have room to criticize Heidi Klum (not). I just realized that Jake Gyllenhall (sp?) and Kate Gosselin have that problem too---smiling with their mouth open and their tongues hanging out.

Gretchen from Bravo's Housewives of Orange County. Whore. She cackles after every single thing that she says--which I HATE when people consistantly laugh at their own jokes. But in addition to her over blown ego, she flaunts her sexuality. OK, Gretchen...you're about 7 feet tall and smokin' hot. We get it. Just in case your good looks were lost on anyone--we get it, you're a tiger in the bedroom. Noted.


Do I seem bitter tonight?